This year Thanksgiving means something different to me.

            Hello all. I hope this finds all of you enjoying your families and great food over this Thanksgiving weekend. Unless you are working, like me and many others, you may have even had a glass of vino.
            My entire update is second hand as I have been in the Firehouse since Tuesday morning. But I have been in contact with Kym constantly (as usual) so I feel this will be accurate. Kym had an infusion appointment yesterday and it went pretty much as they always do. I can only imagine how much it must suck to wake up Thanksgiving morning and feel terrible and not want to eat and know that it will not go away for days. After Kym's infusion, Lori took her out to their house in Rocklin. She will be at Dave and Lori's (Kym's parents) until I get off tomorrow and go pick her up. At least she can be around all her family and not stuck at our house watching cooking programs with me. She says she is feeling okay, which I translate as the same as after all infusions. We are going to relax the rest of the weekend before I leave for a Burn Foundation function in Florida on Monday. I'll only be gone a couple of days but if any of you want to say hi, that would probably be a good time to call.
          I want to wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving and remind you to be thankful for the health and safety of your loved ones. You never know how quickly your world can be turned around.

Koy

Snowy Sunday

             So before I go into how beautiful and quiet Dave and Lori's cabin is when its snowing like this, I have a few more loose ends to tie up. Before we can call ourselves caught up we need to talk about the walk too. The Light the Night walk for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society was about a month ago now. We had a team, "Kymphoma" of course that totally kicked ass. It was a great event and we felt so supported by everyone who showed up. Team Kymphoma ended up sweeping the event. Most team members and most money raised. Nice job everyone.
            So now that we have talked about the haircut, walk and new scan results we are pretty much up to date. So no we can discus the Birthday. I got Thursday night off work but Kym was not feeling well so we ordered in. The next day she was awarded a small shopping spree at REI before we headed up to Truckee for the weekend. The snow is falling and these weekends really help with changing Kym's scenery. You can imagine how tired she must get of hanging around our house all the time. We will be braving the elements to have a nice dinner at Squaw village tonight. Then home tomorrow. I work Tues,Wed, and Thur so Kym will be having Thanksgiving at her parents house. Kym has another infusion (Chemo) on Wednesday so hopefully it doesn't zap her to bad.
              The infusions have started to take more of a physical toll on her now that it is doing it's job. It used to take her a couple days to be back on her feet and now it's more like a week. To be back on her feet is a relative term because she seems to always have some discomfort. She truly is one of the strongest people I know. I am so proud of how she is handling all this.
              We plan on having a great holiday season and decorating the house. Not something Billy and I do traditionally, but Kym is bring a woman's touch to the house. We have scented candles now and everything. So if you are not sick and have not been around anyone who is, give us a call. Holidays are always better with visitors. Bring your favorite beverage and some good stories. Kym's friend Jeanne came over the other day to do yoga with Kym, which was nice.  Anyway, that's all for now. Happy Thanksgiving.
Koy

Yeah... She's cool

And away we go

            Okay kids, since Kym made this blog and posted the initial "what happened" on it, it has stalled. A lot has happened since then. I will get us all up to speed.
             So after Kym's post a month ago, she started going to Chemo. Her infusion appointents are every 2 weeks. I guess she actually started before that, because we are 5 infusions in. At first the infusions would make her feel sick, but it didn't seem too horrible with all the meds they gave her. But after the first couple, the more her immune system wore down, the worse it got. About a month or so ago, Kym was feeling worse after her appt's and then her hair started to fall out. At first we were just kinda finding it everywhere, but then it started coming out in clumps while she showered. This was tough, as you could imagine. I dont think guys really appreciate this like we should. I have shaved my head for my entire adult life, so it didn't seem like that big of a deal. But I now know how much identity goes into girls hair. Well, I suggested that Kym have her stylist buzz her head. At least that would be her doing it on her terms. We got the whole support team together and went down to do just that. Cherry, her stylist, told us there was still enough hair to do a cute little cut so we opted for that. Pics to follow. Since we already had gone wig shopping, we were even able to get those styled too.
              For those of you that dont know, Kym is in a clinical trial that allows her to redo her PET-Scan after the first 4 infusions (2 months) to check on the progress of the Chemotherapy. Well we had those scans a couple of weeks ago. As you may have seen on Kym's fb page, the results were better than good. NO SIGNS OF ACTIVE CANCER. And all those pesky little lymphnodes are getting back to regular size.

               So at this point we just have another 4 months of infusions. It is not quite as simple as it sounds. Kym felt bad after this last one. And thanks to her having like one white blood cell, she got sick and has been feeling terrible since, but no fevers. Please send her your love, it helps alot. She will also be turning 28 this Thursday, so say hi. As for me, I will be blogging for her. Please remember that I do not have 2 college degrees, so be kind.

Not so hostile takeover

So, I think by now it has been proven that Kym is the worst blogger ever. Because of this, I have taken control. As a teaser of things to come, we will be discussing Kym's haircut, The walk, and recent Scan results. So stay tuned for more to come. With pictures.
Koy

Back ~ Tracking

Some things never change. Like my ability to procrastinate on everything. For example, this blog. Been talking about doing a blog since I got the official diagnosis back on August 14th. Something else I procrastinated on recently was going to my doctor originally to get checked out. But why go when nothing really bad is going on? "Its my high-stress, super tough on myself, competitive attitude that is making me sick" - not anything serious. I'm tired all the time & losing weight cause I work my ass off while pulling 12 hour night shifts in the ER in Stockton. It's "normal" for new nurses to be sick their whole first year. I had an explanation for everything - except that feeling of dread in my chest when I actually assessed myself & took a realistic look at my symptoms.
1. Night sweats - common causes that come to mind: tuberculosis & Lymphoma. 2.Dramatic weight loss ( although fun) is a pretty big red flag for cancers 3. Weak immune system-sick ALL the time 4. Hair loss 5.Stopped menstruating 6. Nagging cough that lasts for months with random fevers.
I had gotten to the point where I didn't want to go to the Dr because ignorance is bliss - because I knew in my gut something was really wrong. And going in would mean facing it.
It really wasn't me that chose to go - it was more Koy having an intervention with me, & making me go.
Some of you may be able to relate to the emotions you feel when waiting to find out about a diagnosis. Some of you may even know how it feels when you get phone calls on the weekend from your doc giving you the news you didn't want. For me I went numb. My whole world was upside down. And worst case scenarios started to flood my thoughts. Now I needed a game plan: how do I tell people why I'm having surgery?

I was able to push my way through the "next available appointment is not for 3 weeks" by calling everyday, whatever UCDMC number I could get a hold of- and it worked! I'd had 2 CT scans, a PET scan, & surgical biopsy performed before my original scan appointment ever came around. I called this time my "ruling out cancer" time - convinced it would turn out to be some rare anomaly. BUT, my fabulous surgical oncologist called me at home on Sunday August 14th: "Kym, this is just a fucked up situation - but the pathology reports are back early, and you have Hodgkins Lymphoma". Fuck.

Koy was with me during that call - as he has been this whole time. Truly the perfect partner. And I could tell from his reaction, he had known this too. We both did.

But then came the most difficult task: how to tell my parents? Not over the phone. They were at the cabin, & I was post-op, so driving to them wasn't going to work. So they came down to my place for dinner. Worst conversation I've ever had to start - just awful news to have to give & to see the looks on their faces. Just heartbreaking.

Being sick is hard & no part of it is "fun". But by far the worst part is seeing how my illness affects those that love me. I'm still, to this day more concerned about Koy, my parents, & my sister.
But an important lesson for me: it is so true that your patient is not just the person in the bed - as a nurse, I need to care for the family too.